My Mother uses lemon juice for her complexion.
Maybe that is why she always looks so sour.
I'm not ugly. I could
marry anyone I
pleased!
But that's the problem - you don't please anyone.
Fred: What's
that terribly ugly thing on
your shoulders?
Harry: Help! What is it?
Fred: Your head!
She's so ugly that when a wasp stings her it
shuts
its eyes.
First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror
admiring
my beauty. Do you think that's vanity?
Second girl:
No, it's imagination.
Who won the Monster Beauty Contest?
No
one.
First Witch: I went to the beauty parlor
yesterday. I was
there for three hours.
Second Witch: Oh, what did
you have done?
First witch: Nothing, I was just going in for an
estimate.
Mrs Saggy:
Mrs Wrinkly tried to have a
facelift last week.
Mrs Baggy: Tried to?
Mrs Saggy: Yes, they
couldn't find a crane strong enough to lift her
face!
They say Margaret is a raving beauty.
You
mean she's escaped from the funny farm?
First witch: My beauty
is timeless.
Second witch: Yes, it could stop a clock.
My Mother uses lemon juice for her complexion.
Maybe that is why she always looks so sour.