What should you do if you find a snake in your bed?
Sleep in the wardrobe.
What do you call a python with a great bedside
manner?
A snake charmer.
What should you do if you find a witch in your bed?
Run!
Father: Why did you put a toad in your sister's
bed?
Son: I couldn't find a spider.
Doctor, doctor, I'm having difficulty sleeping.
Doctor: Well maybe it's your bed.
Oh, I'm all right at night,
it's in the day I have
problems.
Doctor, doctor, I keep dreaming there are great,
gooey, bug-eyed monsters
playing tiddley winks under my bed.
What shall I do?
Hide the tiddley winks.
Witch: Doctor, doctor, I don't feel well.
Doctor: Don't worry, you'll just have to go to bed for a spell.
The
hotel we stayed in for our holiday offered
bed and board, but it was
impossible to say which was the bed and
which was the board.
A little
boy came downstairs crying late one
night.
"What's wrong?" asked his mother.
"Do people really come
from dust, like they said in church?" he
sobbed.
"In a way they
do," said his mother.
"And when they die so they turn back to
dust?"
"Yes, they do."
The little boy began to cry again. "Well,
under my bed there's
someone either coming or going."
Who stole the sheets from the bed?
Bed
buglars.