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Joke Categories
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 A mother was reading a book about animals to
her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child:
"Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother:
"Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed
little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice
replied, "Bud." |
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A group of young children were siting in a circle with
their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
"Davy, what noise does a cow make?"
"It goes moo."
"Alice, what noise does a cat make?"
"It goes meow."
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?"
"It goes baaa."
"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?"
"Errr.., it goes..
click!" |
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Why were ancient Egyptian children
confused?
Because their daddies were mummies. |
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A little boy walked down the
aisle at a
wedding. As he made his way to the front, he would take two
steps,
then stop, and turn to the crowd, alternating between the bride's
side and the groom's side. While facing the crowd, he would put his
hands up like claws and roar. And so it went-step, step, ROAR, step,
step,
ROAR-all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the
crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by
the time he reached the
pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more
distressed from all
the laughing, and he was near tears by the time he
reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed back
his tears and
said, "I was being the ring bear." |
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A certain little girl, when asked
her
name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother
told
her this was wrong, she must say,"I'm Janey Sugarbrown."
The
Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,"Aren't you Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter?"
With her mother standing just a few feet
away, the little girl replied,
"I thought I was, but Mommy says I'm
not." |
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A little boy opened the big and old family
Bible with fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them.
Then
something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at
it
closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in
between
pages.
"Mommy, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got
there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment
in the young boy's
voice he answered: "It's Adam's
clothes!!!!!" |
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On the way to
preschool, the doctor had
left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her
little girl picked it
up and began playing with it.
'Be still, my heart,' thought my
friend, 'my daughter wants to
follow in my footsteps!' Then the
child spoke to the instrument: "Welcome
to McDonald's. May I take your
order?" |
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A mother was teaching her
3-year-old the
Lord's prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she
repeated it
after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The
mother
listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right
up
to the end of the prayer. "Lead us not into temptation," she
prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail, Amen." |
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A precious little girl walks
into a pet
shop and asks in the sweetest
little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do
you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he
gets down on his knees, so that
he's on her level, and asks,
"Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby
or
maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?"
She in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees,
leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet
python
weally gives a thit." |
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On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten
teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son
handed
her a gift. She shooked it, held it over her head, and said, "I
bet I
know what it is - flowers!"
"That's right!" said the
boy, "but how did you know?"
"Just a wild guess," she
said.
The next pupil was the candy store owner's daughter. The teacher
held
her gift overhead, shooked it, and said, "I bet I can guess what
it is
- a box of candy!"
"That's right! But how did you
know?" asked the girl.
"Just a lucky guess," said the
teacher.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher
held
the bag over her head and noticed that it was leaking. She
touched a
drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. "Is it
wine?" she
asked.
"No," the boy replied.
The teacher
repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage
to her
tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy
replied.
The teacher then said, "I give up, what is it?"
The boy
replied, "A puppy!" |
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