Q: How does Bill Clinton say "I'm about to
hurt you"?
A: "Trust me."
Q: What's the difference between Hillary
Clinton
and a pit bull?
A: The pit bull doesn't carry a
briefcase.
Q: What is the difference
between Dan
Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda?
A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.
Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton
and
tells him, "Bill, I had a
wonderful dream last night. I could see
America, the whole beautiful
country, and on each house I saw a
banner."
"What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks.
Saddam
replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah."
Clinton says, "You know,
Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last
night
I had a
similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more
beautiful than
ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house
flew an
enormous banner."
"What could you see on the banners?" Saddam
asks.
Clinton replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."
Q: How can
you tell Bill Clinton apart from
a cow?
A: By the wise look in the eyes.
Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton from a bunch
of dead bodies?
A: He's the stiff one.
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to
change a lightbulb?
A: Two--One to promise he'll do it better than
anyone else and one to
obscure the issues.
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to
change
a lightbulb?
A: None--He'll only promise "change."
Q: How many Bill Clintons
does it take to
change a lightbulb?
A: He doesn't! He whines a while, says "I feel
your pain", and gets
congress to pass a billion dollar light
security bill, and blames
Republicans and special interests for not
making lightbulbs free.
Q: Why
are people in Arkansas having
peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving
this year?
A: Because
they're sending their turkey to the White House!
Q: How does Bill Clinton say "I'm about to
hurt you"?
A: "Trust me."