A police officer saw a man dressed as a cowboy
in the street, complete with huge stetson hat, spurs, and six
"Excuse me, sir," said the police officer, "who are
"My name's Tex, officer," said the cowboy.
" eh?" said the police
officer, "Are you from Texas?"
why are you called Tex?"
"Don't want to be called Louise, do I .
Visitor: Wow, you have a
lot of flies
buzzing round your horses and cows. Do you ever shoo them?
Cowboy: No we
just let them go barefoot.
The swing doors of the Wild
crashed open and in came Little Pete, black with fury.
"All right!" he
raged, "all right! Who did it? What goldarned
varmint painted my
The huge figure of Black Jake, notorious gunfighter and
rose from a chair by the door.
"It was me, shrimp,"
he drawled, bunching his gigantic fists, "what
well, er," stammered little Pete wretchedly, "all I wanted to
was. . .when are you going to give it another coat?"
zombie cowboys fight?
Swint and Fess, two Oklahoma cowboys, were
horses out on the range.
"What'd Emmaline give
yew for yore birthday?" asked Swint.
"Pair of cufflinks," said
Fess. "But I ain't got no use for them. I
can't even find anyplace
to get my wrists pierced."
Back in the Old West three Texas cowboys were
about to be hung for cattle rustling. The lynch mob brought the
to a tree right at the edge of the Rio Grande. The idea was
each man had died, they'd cut the rope and he'd drop
into the river
and drift out of sight
They put the first
cowboy in the noose, but he was so sweaty and greasy
he slipped out,
fell in the river and swam to freedom.
They tied the noose around
the second cowboy's head. He, too, oozed
out of the rope, dropped
into the river and got away.
As they dragged the third Texan to
the scaffold, he resisted, "Please!
Would yaw'l tighten that noose
a little bit? I can't swim!"
can't the bankrupt cowboy
A: He has got no beef.
The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire
seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed
this he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only
one seat." The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher
impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm
going to have
to call the manager. The cowboy just groaned.
usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned
with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the
cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The
surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy,
"Sam," the cowboy moaned.
"Where ya from, Sam?"
With pain in his voice Sam replied.... "The
of the world are sitting
around camp talking about how tough they were
and the tales kept
getting bigger and bigger.
The cowboy from Australia says, "I wrestled a
200 pound crocodile and
may it cry like a baby."
from Brazil shakes his head and says, "I killed a 400 pound
with my bare hands."
The Cowboy from Texas just smiled and kept
stirring the campfire with
The eastern lady who was all ready to take a
said to the cowboy, "Can you get me a nice gentle
said the cowboy. "What kind of a saddle do you want,
western?" "What's the difference?" asked the lady. "The
western saddle has
a horn on it," said the cowboy. "If the traffic
is so thick here in
the mountains that I need a horn on my saddle, I
don't believe I want