 The Fire brigade phones George Graham in
the
early hours of Sunday morning.
"Mr Graham sir, White Hart
Lane is on fire!"
"The cups man! Save the cups!" cries
George.
"Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir." |
|
After the
fire-truck arrived at a
burning building in a small Spanish town, the
firemen observed a man
dressed in a matador's costume prancing around on
the roof. Four of
the firemen held a safety-net and urged him to escape
from the
burning building by jumping into the net. He refused and
loudly
proclaimed, "I'm Fearless Jose the bullfighter who fears nothing,
not even
fire."
The firemen begged and pleaded but to no avail. Jose kept
prancing
around while repeating the same phrase over and over until
the firemen got
really sick and tired of hearing it. Finally, when
the flames began to
scorch his butt, Jose announced he had changed
his mind, was ready to
jump and then leaped off the rooftop. As his
body hurtled toward the
safety-net, the four firemen shouted,
"Ole!" and quickly moved it
aside. |
|
A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory
was always late for work.
When confronted by his boss the man
explained:
"You can't park anywhere near this place!" |
|
A man calls the fire
department and
says, "Yes, I have just had my front yard landscaped, I
have a nice
new flower bed, a new fish pond with a fountain and a new
rose
garden."
"Very nice," the firefighter says, "but what does that have
to do
with the fire service?"
"Well," the man answers, "the
house next door is on fire and I
don't want you to trample my front
yard." |
|
How many firemen does it take
to change
a light bulb?
Four - three to cut a hole in the roof and one to
change the bulb. |
|
Q: Why don't Deputy Fire Marshals look
out
the window in the morning?
A: So they have something to do in
the afternoon. |
|
Three firefighters
went out on a
hunting trip. There was a rookie, a captain, and a chief.
The weather
was
misrable and they hadn't seen any deer all day. They came across
an
old shack where they went inside to play
a game of poker.
After loosing a couple of hands, the rookie threw down
his cards and
said "that does it! I am
going out to get me a deer." Fifteen minutes
later, the rookie came
back with a nice four point buck.
The
captain and chief asked, "how did you get that?" The rookie replied,
"I walked out fifty feet, followed some
tracks and shot this buck".
The captain then said, "I've had enough
of this I am going to get
my deer." He
came back a half hour later with a 6-point buck. The
chief asked, "how
did you get that?" The captain replied,
"I walked
out a hundred feet, followed some tracks and shot this
buck." The
chief not wanting to be out done
said "I am out of here, I am g
oing to bag the biggest buck of the
day." He came back an hour
later, all mangled
up and bloody. The rookie and captain asked, "what
happened to you?"
The chief replied, "I walked out there
five
hundred feet, followed some tracks, and got hit by a
train." |
|
here were these 3 Riverside City Firemen
who always went bird hunting
together and they always rented
a
hunting dog name Rex from a local farmer. Rex was a great dog and would
always hold point and find any
birds they shoot. One year they
did't go hunting and the farmer rented
Rex out to some Corona City
Firemen
who used him that season. The next year the Riverside guys
went to rent
Rex from the farmer for hunting but
the farmer had
bad news for them. He told them Rex was no longer any
good for
hunting and didn't have a
replacement for him and to tell the Corona
firemen they were not
welcome there any more and that if he saw
them
he would probably shoot them for what they did to Rex. The R.F.D.
guys asked the farmer what the
Corona boys did that could be so bad.
Well the farmer said last year
when they rented Rex it all started
off fine
until one of the Corona guys decided to rename him. We
ll whats wrong
with that they asked. The farmer said
they
renamed him CHIEF and now all he does is sit on his ass and bark
all the
time. |
|
Q: Did you know that the three wise men
were firemen?
A: It says they came from afir (a fire, a far). |
|
A fireman and
policeman died and both
went to heaven where they were issued their wings with
the
warning
that if they had even one bad thought their wings would fall off.
Well,
everything went well for some time then
one day they passed
a very attractive and well put together young lady.
As the fireman
turned to watch her
pass his wings fell off. When he bent over to
pick them up the
policemans wings fell off. |
